Contemplations · of · the · Cosmic · Navel

Hey, Joey! Great to see you. How are you doing these days?

Well, I've just finished my first cup of tea -- English Breakfast, sweet with a bit of milk -- and feel all nice and warm inside. I've been working on the content of my website that my brother is graciously putting together for me. Honey, the largest of my three dogs, is occupying the area beneath my desk so I'm typing side-saddle, so to speak.

I went to WFC and had a chance to meet my editor. Surprisingly, all went well considering how late on my deadlines I am.

So, world, what's happening with you?

Beth

I haven't clicked in to Live Journal yet to be posting regularly because I keep getting thrown loops called life. Mom died in May and I'm still trying to comprehend that. Nice seeing you.

Folks who might still be hanging around ... Dr. Fitzmorris here is my closest high school buddy whom the focal character of my Gypsy Silk series (Luciana) is based on. Congrats, Lucia, you've been Tuckerized.

Heat Management = Migraines = +~Pain Treatment = Sleep all day


Yes, I slept all day. ALLLLLL Day, through the significantly higher temps, waking occasionally for fluid intake. I am now awake without the heat migraine! Yay! Dinner is tuna fish salad (cold) on toast with fresh, cold tomatoes and a couple of chips and already made! Life could be better bu a few degrees cooler, but I'm not complaining at the moment.

Story for Lace and Blade 2 goes out tonight after reformatting for specs and then contiue working on "Wolfdaughter," one of my novels (first for prospective new series) due to DAW.

I'm having an interesting day ... which is the best that can be said in this weather.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby announce, proclaim and confess that where the heat is concerned, I'm a ninny. If the temp is over 74 degrees, I'm looking for a fan, 80s and I want an air conditioner. My beloved husband does not understand swamp coolers and dehumidifiers are NOT air conditioners and do not do the job. He, of course, works in a traditional office with lots of air conditioning. He's going to be real surprised one day when I come to work with him.

Our freezer, for various reasons that are beside the point, does not make ice, so cold drinks are turning into measurably HOT drinks. Y'know, I understand that some people like warmed Dr. Pepper. Let me be very clear, I AM NOT ONE OF THEM. Water must be bottled and, thankfully, for some extremely strange reason (one more weird thing about my body) drinking cold water (more than a sip or two) gives me the kind of headache you get when someone dunks you deep, repeatedly in the swimming pool. One thing in my favor. I get room temp (HOT) bottled water. Y'know, there's a happy medium, folks?

Oh! Did I mention, the neighbors have a swimming pool? I've never been invited over, but one afternoon, they may come home to find a floater in their pool. (I do swim, but when it's hot, I like to float.)

So, hopefully there was some humor there and not just pure whine.

On the good side of things (well, it's not good that a month a two days since Mom passed), my Dad is learning to actually reach out a little. We have daily phone calls that I usually initiate, but today HE called ME! Wow! Dad's never really "been there" because of his military and FAA careers taking him away, so this is a big jump. Now, after 20+ and 23+ years in both those jobs, he's now consulting.

Well, I'm waiting for feedback on my two final readers before I send a short story off to an editor. I like the heat better than waiting. ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I've also written on one of the three novel projects I've got on the burner.

I'm getting an air conditioner.

Lace

Tags: air conditioner, family, heat, relationships, waiting, writing

Current Mood:

cranky

I just finished reading A POSSE OF PRINCESSES (title and author name sold me!). What a great book! Loads of fun, character depth, funny and human! And they had to wait, too! Even the Mommy in me is happy.

I've also been reading and enjoying the LACE AND BLADE anthology (Norilana Press, completely accidentally, is getting all of my reading time!) and enjoying short works, too.

Beyond reading, I find that I'm writing more and I'm more than confident that there is a correlation between reading and writing. I'll continue to read and report on my experience.

Mr. Jay Lake, You are a positive font -- kind of an upstart anti-TimesRoman -- of ideas and posts, you've made me laugh, think and pause for thought all before your time of something like 10 a.m.!

Yay! I finally got my Internet back and am surprised just how damned slow it had been! Maybe now I can finally get to posting regularly. I'm writing daily. My editor will be pleased to learn that I am writing daily and pleased with the quantity and quality.

How's about 11 (eleven) pages for a single day?

Doug, my dh and first reader, says it's all top drawer so far, all my best quality first draft material.

I've been so afraid of writing these last few years, afraid my stroke had firmly stolen the words as it had when I tried to speak without bumbling. I am so relieved. The joy is coming back. Now, of course, I'm about to do a nose dive into my pillow!

I got started up and fully intended to write daily and then Mom called. She's not recovering from shoulder surgery, her Lupus is bad, she's got the beginnings of Alzheimer's and, generally, seems to need me a lot. While time consuming, it's also been helpful (selfishly). While filled with ideas and inspired to write, I've been facing some sort of internal hurdle (I'll talk on it another time ... the fear of success = writer's block)

This exercise is to "Go for 10 minutes. Write what you will miss when you die. Be specific. What are the things that ... will die with you? ... In this moment, you are the only one that feels ... Slow down and notice what you don't notice."

So, I will begin in my space. I will miss the warm comfort of Anya, my dog, laying between my feet when I'm at the computer. She always seems to know when I am distressed sitting here. She will roll her head over onto my foot and sigh in her doggie fashion, licking her mouth in shared distress, but she remains silent, just, somehow, more present ... the brush of her fur, her small, warm furry body curving into my instep. I will miss the way she stands ... or, rather, sits and paws the air persistently when she wants something -- usually a snack. I will miss our kinship. With a word, she anticipates my stumbling about the house and keeps close without ever once tripping me. I love the way she wants to be near me, settling to bed at whatever odd hour of the night or day I decide to finally catch a couple hours of sleep.

I love waking up with Anya curled up close to my head, sometimes on the pillow beside me, and the other dogs have found their particular positions on and about me so that the bed is ever full. I like never waking up alone ... at least, not when I'm home.

And Jabberwocky, my tuxedo cat who has be recognized for her true being (a dragon in disguise) by my friend Phyl after my cat insisted upon inspecting her jewelry. Maybe I will miss the tangle of necklaces and chain bracelets that I don't get anymore because I can never free them from the mess Jabber has made of them when she gets into my jewelry drawer and drools contentedly. I will miss her persnickety nature, the deep, resounding purr ... the silent shows of desperation when her jewelry eventually wears off and has to be replaced. (Yes, Jabber DOES have her own jewelry, it was a simple matter of self-protection.) She has been so aloof of late due to my son's over-large puppy.

As annoying as it is, I shall miss the sounds my husband makes, mostly when he's sleeping. I will miss having him there to pester to put on his "nose-hose" when his snoring gets particularly bad and, therefore, makes it easier for me to convince him to use the apnea machine like he's supposed to. I will miss the way he stretches in the night and jams his feet into my desk forcing me to grab for the hot tea or cold soda and then go on a rescue mission for my wireless mouse. Lord and Lady, I will miss the feel of him, the smell of him ... the familiar comfort of snuggling into him, feeling his arms surround me and knowing that, for that instance at least, I am utterly his and I am SAFE, loved and knowing how much my love for him means to him. I'll miss arguing with him, but mostly I will miss his daydreaming of the things he hopes to accomplish in what would take 20 lifetimes to actually do. I will miss his presence, the sense of him always nearby. I will miss our play, our flirting even after 24 years of marriage. I will miss my partner who knows me and understands me all too well, knowing that I know him equally well -- each of us knowing one another better than we know ourselves ..

... and, now, dear Journal, I shall cut off my mental meanderings for I have long since past by the 10 minutes prescribed for this exercise. I think doing these exercises will help. I'm mentally exhausted, the good way, when I've been digging. I've overcome the blank page syndrome. I shall throttle my adult children who still live with us and continue to bicker as I type these last few words before I settle between the sheets for my "good night's sleep."

I am pleased with this beginning ...

A thought ... I've never really been one who liked this process of journaling and, yet, I do so love to sit and turn things over and over in my mind. The concept of "the Cosmic Navel" was a result of acknowledging the depth of some of the things I think about, but always with a sense of humor ..., Heaven forfend! ... I take myself too terribly serious.

I've been struggling with long-term Writer's Block (2.5 years) after having had a minor stroke. Whenever I go to write, I am filled with self-doubt, something that had not been there before. So now I find myself in the position of having sold the end of the Silken Magic series (MAGIC'S SILKEN SNARE, THE SILKEN SHROUD and, in progress, SOVEREIGN SILK) and the beginning of another series. I've been urged to open my own LJ blog and so, after much delay, here I am.

For those interested (just in case I'm not the only one reading these words ...), my full fiction publications to date have been listed at the end of my bio. If you come by, please pull up the virtual chair, share a cup of tea, chat or just watch my thought processes, as you wish.